The Tale of the Missing Missionary

In the eyes of ordinary people, lucid dreaming and sleepwalking may seem similar, but they are actually different. Sleepwalkers perform as themselves during sleepwalking episodes, which are usually short-lived, lasting at most a few hours. On the other hand, lucid dreamers assume a completely different role and live an alternate life, which can last for days, weeks, or even years. It truly feels like living in a dream.

Lucid dreaming often occurs under immense psychological and social pressures such as marital conflicts or career failures. Furthermore, due to the patient's pathological personality, they adopt passive defense mechanisms to alleviate this stress.

Now, let's delve into a story about the disappearance of missionary Bonai:

On January 20, 1887, the "Providence News Brief" in Providence City, USA, published a news article titled "A Missing Missionary." The article reported that a renowned missionary named Bonai had suddenly disappeared. Bonai had been preaching across the United States for 25 years and was now 60 years old. Recently, Bonai claimed to be under an attack of mysterious forces, which caused him to enter an unconscious state for several hours. Hailing from the western United States, Bonai had expressed his desire to return to his hometown after experiencing similar episodes multiple times.

In reality, on the morning of January 17, he left Providence City and resurfaced on the morning of March 14 in a small town in Pennsylvania. A local grocery store owner named Brown exclaimed in surprise, and when asked about the reason, he identified himself as Bonai but had no recollection of how he ended up there. He felt as if the two months had passed in the blink of an eye and couldn't recall his actions during that time, except for fragmented memories from when he had just left Providence City.

Renowned psychologist James recorded his research findings on Bonai in his classic work, "Principles of Psychology." James conducted hypnosis on Bonai, stating that under hypnosis, he could recover many lost memories. However, these memories gradually resurfaced. While in a hypnotic state, he couldn't recall any information about his ordinary life. He claimed to have only heard of Bonai but didn't know if he had ever met the person. When confronted with his wife, he stated that he had never seen her before.

On the other hand, he could vividly recall the experiences during his lucid dreaming episodes. The entire process felt real, and the persona of Brown, the small store owner, seemed to have separated and shrunk from Bonai's own persona, possessing a diminished, frustrated, and forgetful nature. I attempted to merge these two aspects of Bonai's persona through techniques such as suggestion, aiming to establish a unified personality and coherent memories, but I ultimately failed.

Today, Mr. Bonai still harbors two fragmented selves within his body.

The story depicts Bonai embarking on a journey due to a mysterious experience. He claimed to have been attacked by an enigmatic force, which filled him with fear and plunged him into an unconscious state. But where did this so-called mysterious force come from? It originated from Bonai's inner self.

Having served as a missionary for decades and earned people's respect, Bonai may have carried numerous troubles behind his esteemed image. However, due to being a respected missionary, he had to maintain proper behavior and conduct. The psychological pressure caused by these troubles couldn't find an appropriate outlet, resulting in a mysterious experience that left Bonai anxious and fearful. His departure can be metaphorically described as his ego being "kidnapped." Fortunately, after some "negotiation," Bonai's impulsive ego allowed his self to become a small shop owner, a life that he deeply admired—relaxed, carefree, casual, involving bargaining and pursuing personal gain, experiencing the taste of "business dealings and cunning."

Of course, in Bonai's case, religious mystical experiences were merely a game played by his ego. However, in other cases of religious mystical experiences, the phenomenon of lucid dreaming could be influenced by other factors, such as an obsession with the true essence of religion.